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A game, a story, a change

What do I hope to achieve with this game? Initially, I was ambitious. I wanted to change people’s mindset, I wanted to change people’s beliefs and attitudes. But then I realise that it is not realistic. I cannot change people’s mindset, but I can act as a stepping stone towards the change I want to see.

Written by Min, Change Maker

coverThe beginning of 2010 marked the end of my life as I knew it. A 360 degree change in my personality was seen, blocks were put up in my memories and the brown lines on my wrists never seemed to fade.

For half a decade, I avoided the topic. I refused to work on it with my counsellor. I refused to acknowledge that it even happened. That is, until, by some fate or coincidence, my school decided to allocate me to AWARE for my internship. I knew, then, that I cannot run away from my problems forever.

I decided to make a game as part of my final-year project. A game about intimate partner violence, a game that tells the stories of its victims through words, pictures and music. I know that AWARE and We Can! have plenty of workshops and programmes. But I, as an introvert, know what a struggle it is to sign up for a workshop or programme, knowing that I will be in a room full of strangers. It may be too big of a first step for some. So, I thought, “Why not bring it to the comforts of one’s home?”

Celestial chainedThe game I made is titled The Healing Doll and it adopts an RPG and visual novel style. In the first part of the game, you play as Celestial. You have amnesia, and as you explore your surroundings, you uncover your lost memories and the horrors of your previous abusive relationship. You end up severely traumatised. This is to highlight the emotional turmoil experienced by a lot of victims. In the second part of the game, you play as Alex, Celestial’s friend. Seeing Celestial in such a state, you blame yourself for it. Until a mysterious Cat Man promises you the power to travel back in time and change the past. From then on, the choices you make will impact the plot and final outcome of the game. This is to show that when we choose to stand up and step in, we can make changes.

As my game drew close to a completion, insecurities and uncertainty overwhelmed me. I am no art student, nor am I a programming student – but I am psychology student with a Wacom Tablet and passion for programming. The game is by no means of perfect quality as everything is created within a month, but I can assure you that my emotions and feelings are in it. The journey of creating the game is not an easy one. At the beginning, flashbacks blinded my eyes. The memories I stored in a box exploded. But I kept going. I kept going, till a point where I felt okay. After that, my only struggles are the expectations I had of myself and my constant belief that my game is not good enough.

alex and cel in schoolOf course, I did not make it through alone. There are friends and people who love me who stuck by me through this journey. Just like the characters in my game, we all need some external help sometimes.

What do I hope to achieve with this game? Initially, I was ambitious. I wanted to change people’s mindset, I wanted to change people’s beliefs and attitudes. But then I realise that it is not realistic. I cannot change people’s mindset, but I can act as a stepping stone towards the change I want to see. With a little more understanding and a little more knowledge, it will be possible.

To victims of intimate partner violence out there, you are not alone. To friends of victims, there are many ways you can help. To everyone else, you are part of a society that can change.

About the Author: Min is the whackiest psychology student you’ll ever meet. If you see her, run far away.