Tag: society

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Supporting HPB’s initiative: Creating an inclusive and safe society for homosexual youths

by Ian Mak, Change Maker

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stop-homophobiaMuch has been said about the Health Promotion Board’s decision to release an FAQ (frequently asked questions) about homosexuality, which was aimed at providing information for parents with homosexual children and address the issue of discrimination based on sexual orientation.

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community in Singapore commended HPB’s move, labeling it an important first step towards helping homosexuals struggling with their sexual identity. Others, generally self-proclaimed ‘conservatives’, led by Pastor Lawrence Khong of Faith Community Baptist Church, were not so supportive. They claimed that the tone adopted by HPB was supportive of homosexuality in general and how it fundamentally damaged the moral fabric of society.

It is good to have such discourse and a wide spectrum of views. It shows that we are maturing as a society. However, the crux of the issue is for us to recognise that the LGBT community and in particular, homosexual youths, are not being accepted in our local communities. They are often discriminated in society and bear the brunt of much homophobia-fuelled violence.

Violence against homosexual youth is a result of the lack of sufficient education, information and inclusivity. From a young age, traditional norms of gender and sexuality are perpetuated via conservative sexuality education programmes in schools. Homosexuality is sneered at as an illegitimate lifestyle choice and a socially taboo topic. This creates an atmosphere of fear and judgment in schools, where homosexuals are afraid of being themselves. The failure of the education system to develop a culture of acceptance is reflected in the horrific gay bashing endured by Theo Chen, a 12-year-old student in SJI International Elementary School.

lgbt-rainbow-flag_100375401_mWorse still, families with deeply entrenched conservative values regard having homosexual children as a source of shame. It is commonplace to find openly homosexual children cut off from families who have rejected them based on their sexual orientation. Consider the case of Sham, who has been recently featured on the facebook page, ‘The People of Singapore’. A lesbian, she was forced to leave home at the age of 16. Her girlfriend has also been shunned by her family, who told Sham she should be gang raped to ‘fix her’. The experiences of Sham are very much indicative of a wider culture of intolerance and violence towards the LGBT community.

As a result, homosexual youths find it difficult to come to grips with their sexuality, and start to distrust themselves and their experiences. Bereft of support from friends, family and the government, they are often alienated and bear the brunt of violence from people influenced by homophobic rhetoric. Is it any wonder, then, that the Suicide Prevention Resource Centre estimates that between 30 to 40% of LGBT youth have attempted to take their own life?

By persisting with the status quo, we are refusing to acknowledge the discrimination and persecution that homosexual youths have to endure on a daily basis. Homophobia will continue to flourish and violence against homosexual youths will continue to be an everyday reality.

We need to tackle the root of the problem- the lack of education about homosexuality that prevents a culture of inclusivity from taking root. More than that, we need to ensure that families become more accepting towards homosexual youths, so that at the very they can cling onto their family members for support and guidance.

That is why HPB’s move to publish the FAQs about homosexuality is an important first step towards ending discrimination against homosexual youths. By developing and strengthening the support systems of homosexual youths, we are sending out a clear message that they are deeply treasured and respected members of an inclusive and accepting society. More than that, we are telling society- the lawmakers, the workers and the average joe on the street- that violence against homosexual youths can never be tolerated.

However, more needs to be done. More can be done. We have the ability, as a society, to come together to reject homophobia and violence against homosexual youths. If you are a young person in a school, be a friend to those who could be struggling with their sexual orientation. More importantly, do not tolerate any homophobic sentiment amongst your peers.

“The time time for justice, the time for freedom, the time for equality is always, is always right now!” – The Great Debaters

I am willing to play my part in stopping violence against LGBT youths. Are you?

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What young people can do to stop violence against women

by Ian Mak, Change Maker

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youth change makers“The youth of today and the youth of tomorrow will be accorded an almost unequal opportunity for great accomplishment and human service.” – Dr Nicholas Murray

 

It is often tempting as a young person to discount our power to make change. We tend to ignore daunting social problems, believing that we do not have the ability to do anything about it. “Anyway,” we think, “adults can do it better.”

 

Wrong. Youth have tremendous potential and more importantly, the unique opportunity to make a significant difference in forwarding social causes. In the days of our youth is when many of our beliefs and worldviews are solidified. If we take the effort to question and rethink the social norms and practices around us, especially where they are problematic, we will be able to make a significant breakthrough in advancing social progress. This is because, through a critical enquiry of the traditions and cultural attitudes we grow up in, we discover new ways of being and doing things that can be better for social living.

 

This is particularly true in the case of violence against women. Over the years, violence against women in societies around the world hasn’t reduced – in fact, it has increased. Violence against women isn’t about a random nutter of a husband abusing his wife. It’s about outmoded concepts of masculinity. It’s about the normalisation of men using violence against women to retain and reproduce power. It’s about the silence from friends and family members who ensure that such violence goes unreported, and, therefore, excused. It is, fundamentally, about the social tolerance of women’s suffering.

 

We can do better than that. Every generation has the power to shape its own beliefs. We can do this by interrogating the past and reimagining the future. To start with, we need to examine existing social norms that allow violence against women to occur and go unreported.

 

One idea that really needs to be reconsidered is the prevailing notion of masculinity. Through redefining masculinity, we can change the attitude of men towards women and towards each other. We must know, and let other men know, that to be masculine is not to be violent and dominant over women or other men.

 

Social progress is often only made when people come together to take a stand. Think of Martin Luther King’s civil rights movement and of Gandhi’s civil disobedience against the British monopoly of the salt trade. Youth in Singapore and across the world making a commitment not to tolerate violence against women would send out a powerful message to everyone. It would tell people that society is moving forward and that we, this generation, will not excuse violence, will not accept inequality and oppression.

 

It is not going to be easy. Familial constructs across the world designate men as the head of the household, allowing for men to be considered as superior and more powerful. On the flip side, the same familial constructs prescribe that women should be submissive, subordinate, sacrificial and silent in the face of violence because it is their responsibility to keep the family together at all costs. As a result, women find it difficult to report violence, for fear of stigma and societal condemnation.

 

The youth can play a significant role in reshaping gender relations, starting with our own attitudes and the relationships in our lives. We can also act as change makers on the ground by interrupting a friend who makes a sexist joke or gently pointing out to a couple that their relationship is unequal. Most importantly, for young men, we can collectively redefine our view of masculinity as one that does not condone violence against women.

 

These actions may be small individually, but if everyone makes an effort, we can make real progress towards ending violence against women.

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News & Updates

We Can! Arts Fest – Where Art Meets Activism

artsThis December, We Can! Singapore is breaking the silence of violence with the We Can! Arts Fest.

Violence isn’t always black and blue. Most times, it creeps into women’s lives unexpectedly – at home, at the workplace, on the street, at a party. It leaves an impact on women, men and children.

Do you know how to spot the signs?

Walk through our interactive installation on psychological abuse, stop to have coffee with a social activist, watch a play on true stories of violence from Singapore, and discover how you can make a difference.

On 8 December 2013, meet others who are using their voices to speak up against violence. Together, we can create awareness and action for a violence-free society.

Artists, activists and survivors are coming together in an exciting lineup to interrogate the different forms of violence around us that go unnoticed because of our silence.

Event details:
Theme: The Silence of Violence
Date: 8 December 2013
Time: 11am – 10pm
Venue: Aliwal Arts Centre, 28 Aliwal Street

Art + film + music + plays + poetry + workshops + more!

Get your tickets ($5) now!

Click HERE for more information on the programme.

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Blog

Quen on “Just A Bad Day”

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Quenyee Wong plays a grandmother in “Just A Bad Day”. Here is what she has to say about her experience as an actor and what it means to be a Change Maker of the We Can! campaign.

For me, it truly was a tall order. Here was an email asking people with full-time jobs and a life – well, we certainly hope so! – and maybe even a dog, to put months of their lives “on hold”, to be in a play. Really? Who does that? Once upon a long time ago, I too wanted to run away with the circus, but I’ve since quite adjusted to the demands of life today, thank you.

What did actually get me to sign up for the We Can! forum theatre workshop was, in fact, what the play was going to be about: violence against women. Something went “bing!” in my head. Women’s rights, human rights, the rights of the downtrodden and misunderstood have always been close to my heart. Over a great part of my life, I did identify with the downtrodden. And here was a chance to do something that took on these issues directly!

So two weeks later saw me walking into a room full of strangers of all ages and races, shapes and genders. You’d only see a more diverse group, well, at the circus. After the initial hellos and introductions, the amazing journey of forum theatre training began! Under the careful moulding of a veteran theatre practitioner named Li Xie, we started to open up and warm towards each other through different trust-building exercises. In one such exercise, we wandered with eyes closed within the confines of a room and, at the instruction of Li Xie, reached out to find a “hand buddy”. That is, we proceeded to feel the hand of the person we had partnered up with, perhaps even smelling it or rubbing it against our faces, so that we could “know it”, all the while with our eyes shut. Then, after mixing us all up again, we had to find our hand buddy purely by feeling dozens of “stranger hands”! What a weird thing to do, I thought, but guess what? Many of us did find our hand buddies, and experienced a most uncanny sense of connection with that person.

Forum theatre rehearsal
Change Makers in rehearsal

The artistic process was most liberating. Soon, this motley crew of volunteers migrated together from a place of shy, giggly awkwardness to a full-on, I-haven’t-even-shared-this-with-my-mom, safe circle of revelatory sharing! The day always ended with everyone coming together in a circle and sharing what we felt or had learnt. And the bare-bones honesty surprised us all! Here was a group of ordinary folk who had come together because we had witnessed or experienced unspeakable violence in our own lives, and now we were bonding over long-hidden secrets. Rape, peer pressure, gender discrimination – you name it, it figured in our individual experiences. It made you think, wow, violence really is just one or two degrees of separation away! In fact, if you were willing to look, you would see it happening in your own life as well.

These stories made their way into a piece of theatre that explored violence in both physical and non-physical forms, set in the everyday scenarios where we had first experienced them. Through a progressive series of exercises involving creating tableaux of actions, we pieced the action together and weaved a coherent whole. In a process called “hot seating”, we had questions posed to us as the character we played (for example, a woman who felt compelled to fulfil the roles of wife, mother and daughter-in-law to the highest degree) and we answered them in character. This helped us better understand the stakes involved and our character’s motivations and “buttons” – words or actions that would make them think twice or even change their behaviour. These were “buttons” that our audience members could “push” in order to trigger a different way of thinking or acting.

Quen in character
Quen in character, interacting with a member of the audience during a performance of “Just a Bad Day”.

All in all, the process of creating a forum theatre devised piece made each of us more aware of why protagonists in any particular situation make the decisions they do, which create or add to a cycle of action. We had all come with a certain set of ideas about the issues in violence, and through role-play and discussion, had discovered a lot of the “grey” in things we used to think of as pretty black-and-white. Taking on these issues didn’t sway our resolve. On the contrary, it imbued us with some wisdom: solutions are not cut and dry, and people have to arrive at their own solutions organically.

At the We Can! forum theatre workshop, we found our “therapy” – sharing our stories and putting them together in a theatre piece had, in effect, released us from their hold and re-purposed them for good. Now, it is time to take our process to the masses, to get them to share as well!

We named the play, “Just A Bad Day”, and recognised ourselves as “Change Makers”. Using everything we have learnt from the workshop, the “Just A Bad Day” Change Makers will take the play to Singapore’s multi-racial, multi-religious, multi-abled, multi-gendered, multi-affiliated communities over an entire year.

People need to feel empowered to say no, to pipe up when they would ordinarily have kept mum, to step in where they might have stepped aside before because they thought that violence was a private matter. But it isn’t. Just as you can step into the world of the forum theatre and do something differently, we want people to know that they can change the course of real life, and hopefully history, simply by acting on it.[/two_third]

Categories
Blog

10 ways men can prevent gender-based violence

This is part of an article that originally appeared in Feminist Wire on May 15, 2013 – by Sacchi Patel

 

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  1. Communicate. One of our largest problems is that we do not talk. No one is a mind-reader. If we talk with our partners, we can understand each other’s wishes, thoughts, and desires. Consent should never be assumed.
  2. Educate Yourself. There is lot of information on Domestic Violence that we ought to learn and understand. “1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime,” “1.3 million women are physically assaulted each year in the US,” and “every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted” are all undeniable statistics, and need acknowledgement and continuing press coverage.
  3. Contribute. We ought to give our time, thoughts, and even monetary donations to helping stop all forms of violence against women. Assistance is always needed, and there are many ways for us to get involved and support the cause.
  4. Support Victims/Survivors. We can be there for those who have been victimized by domestic violence or sexual assault. This might mean driving someone to the hospital, accompanying a victim to court or the police station, or even just sitting and listening to the survivor.
  5. Organize. As men, we can create or join a movement against DV.
  6. Act. Rather than watch abuse happen, we can take a more proactive role and become empowered bystanders. This means standing up, speaking out, intervening in potentially harmful situations, or alerting others for assistance. There is always something we can do.
  7. Choose Words Thoughtfully. We must understand the impact of our language and the words that we use. Using words like bitch, ho, and slut to describe women makes it easy for our whole society to view women as inferior.
  8. Talk with/listen to Women. Women have spoken out for decades, trying to spread awareness. It is time to have those conversations with women and learn their thoughts about living with threats of violence on a daily basis. We can also find out ways that we can support women best.
  9. Talk with Men. We can engage in dialogue with other men about how domestic violence has impacted their lives. We can explore feelings and the costs of being regarded as potential perpetrators of violence, while learning how to best support male-identifying survivors. Talking with other men will also allow a space to discuss ideas on how to challenge and stand up against domestic violence.
  10. Lead by Example. Never disregard, excuse, commit, or remain silent about any violence, and particularly that against women and girls. We can be role models for other men and boys in our communities. We can teach our children to be respectful and never abusive toward women. We can be good fathers and equal partners in our relationships.

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