We Can! Youth is the Singapore campaign’s special focus in 2014. This year, we hope to get a larger number of youth involved in taking a stand against gender-based violence in their everyday lives, and reach out to as many youth Change Makers – young people committed to making positive change in their communities – as possible!
If you are as excited about this as we are, contact us now! We’d like to feature youths from the community at SHATTER, our flagship event this coming June.
Are you a young person aged 13-25 with a story to share about how gender stereotypes, stigma and violence have affected your life? If you would like to tell your story at SHATTER, write to us at [email protected].
Artists & community groups
SHATTER hopes to give you an opportunity to inspire young people with your craft. If you are an artist or performer who is keen to support this event and take a stand against gender-based violence, write to us at [email protected].
We are inviting groups who are passionate about gender issues and changing societal attitudes that tolerate violence. If you are keen to encourage dialogue and action amongst Singapore’s youth community, do come and share your work and views at SHATTER. If you would like to put up a booth or participate in the event in any other way, please write to us at [email protected].
Talking about sex can be uncomfortable and awkward. Some individuals find it perfectly normal to discuss sex at the dinner table, but many still think of the topic as sensitive, and are not confident talking about it with friends or families. While respecting that attitudes regarding sex differ greatly within religions, families, communities and societies, we have to recognize that children need education about sex, no matter what culture they are from.
Sexual education does not merely concern itself with anatomy and factual information about what happens during sexual acts. It can, and should, cover social issues such as healthy relationships, the importance of consent and respecting one’s partner. A pre-emptive introduction to these issues, preferably before they have their first sexual encounter, will probably make it easier for youths to make informed decisions later on.
Sooner or later, children grow up and discover sex. Children are curious, and ask questions like ‘Where do babies come from?’, or ‘Why are everyone else’s bodies changing, and not mine?’ It is unavoidable as a parent to talk about human nature with their kids, and you come across all kinds of questions related to growing up. If their curiosity is dismissed by their parents or other authority figures, they will seek answers elsewhere—from their friends, older students or online. In an age where kids get iPads before they can walk, it is inevitable that they begin exploring resources online. This is where the ease of obtaining information today can become a danger. Although plenty of good online resources about sex abound, there are countless others providing misleading, or just plain incorrect, information. It can be difficult even for adults to distinguish between reliable and untrustworthy content online—what more youths who may be far less discerning?
In addition to the wealth of (mis)information available, there appear to be many “grey areas” surrounding sex. One of these issues is the concept of consent. When someone is sleeping, intoxicated or not able to say yes or no, it is not sex but rape or sexual assault. If the person does not enthusiastically say yes, it always equates a no. Surveys conducted with Singaporeans, as well as worldwide rape statistics, tell us that there too many people who are inclined to ignore consent. If, from a young age, it is taught that sex needs to be consensual, all the time, every time, and with anyone, youths may be better prepared when it comes to either asking for or giving consent. If youths learn about consent before they start having sex, we can hopefully reduce the number of sexual assaults due to people not understanding that rape constitutes any sex where someone is unwilling to engage in the act.
Perhaps the most-often cited example of misleading sexual information is online pornography. If the majority of pornographic images and concepts are a teenager’s first encounter with sex, they are going to be both surprised and perhaps disappointed when they experience sex for themselves. A lot of pornography gives the impression that male pleasure comes first, often by imposing sexual actions on a woman who does not seem to be enjoying herself. This can lead to unrealistic, and unhealthy, sexual attitudes on both sides. Boys may expect sex to be oriented towards male pleasure, whilst girls may feel pressured to perform sexual acts they do not want. If we inform our youth about sex—not just about the physical mechanisms of sexual intercourse, but about their rights and how to respect others, then perhaps we can stop perpetuating unpleasant experiences and sexual myths.
Sexuality programmes should incorporate healthy attitudes, instead of just biological facts.
Sexual education should even overturn toxic attitudes and language used to refer to sex. Media and pop culture portrayals of men and women who have sex show them in very different lights. Whilst males gain respect from their peers for having sex, and are praised for ‘getting some’, a girl who participates in the same acts faces social backlash. These double standards and gender stereotypes are reproduced over and over again as youths continue to learn these attitudes from older individuals and the media. Sex is frequently discussed as something that is given or taken. ‘I took her virginity’, or ‘I popped her cherry’, are well known phrases that give the impression that girls give sex and boys take sex. When we talk to children about these misconceptions, we provide them with a better understanding of what sex should be like—something that everyone involved in is interested in doing and that there is nothing shameful about it—regardless of gender.
It’s one thing to know about ‘the birds and the bees’; it’s quite another to understand how to say yes or no to a sexual request, or discuss what you want out of a relationship. Adults have difficulty enough maintaining healthy and communicative relationships—children shouldn’t have to navigate these pitfalls with the added complication of inadequate sexual education. Early sex education, hopefully before sex happens, will hopefully better equip our youth to be discerning, respectful, and well-informed in matters concerning sex and relationships.
In Majorite Opprimee's alternate reality, the protagonist faces gender-based aggression in all aspects of his everyday life.
by Marylyn Tan, Change Maker
What happens when the patriarchy is turned on its head? Watched the French film, Majorité Opprimée (Oppressed Majority), and you’ll get a glimpse of it. The ten-minute film went viral earlier this year, despite having come out a few years before—perhaps because feminist issues are becoming ever more relevant, especially in Europe, where abortion rights and laws regarding homosexuality have ‘taken a turn for the worse’, according to the film’s creator, Eleonore Pourriat. Majorité Opprimée may have inspired the recent slew—good or bad—of gender role reversals in the media, such as that horrendously sexist Veet advertising campaign which exhorts women not to ‘risk dudeness’.
More encouragingly, however, the role-reversal trend has also been used to illustrate the problems with the way women are portrayed in audio-visual media—such as in the photoset, ‘seDUCATIve vs. MANigale’, in which one motorcycle company parodies another’s traditional ‘model in sexually-provocative poses with equally attractive vehicle’ ad campaign by replacing the women with men. Even Jennifer Lopez’s latest single, I Luh Ya Papi, explicitly lashes out against exploitative differences in marketing male and female artistes in the music industry. What I find so powerful about Majorité Opprimée, however, is the incisive, stark fashion in which little everyday instances of gender violence are depicted.
The film isn’t meant to be wholly realistic—most films aren’t—but it does set its sights on portraying a wide slew of behaviours (all within ten minutes!) that both men and women engage in that foster a narrative of violence in everyday interactions. Unknowingly, unconsciously, we have all probably been party to reinforcing sexist attitudes at some point. The film is set in an unnamed French town where it is almost immediately—though subtly—established that the women are in charge. This is a vision of a matriarchal society, and our protagonist, Pierre, illustrates this most starkly in his interactions with the women of his everyday life. Again, it’s the microaggressions in a sexist society that the film highlights, such as being stared at on the streets in unison by a trio of women, and unprovoked—unwanted—comments on one’s appearance such as ‘how lucky you are to have such a cute daddy!’
The assertion of matriarchy is even more subtle when the women aren’t actually interacting with the protagonist. An implied balance of power is shown by issues ingrained far more deeply into this society, such as women jogging bare-chested in public, a wife’s control and restriction over what her husband can wear or must cover up, and how most, if not all, positions in authority are depicted as being held by females. In Majorité Opprimée, the men make the coffee, have to be picked up by their wives, and are told that their ‘outfits are cute’ on them. In this hypothetical matriarchy, the men have their social status constantly, and casually, belittled, such as when the protagonist’s landlady smiles dismissively and says, ‘I should really be talking to your wife.’
Majorité Opprimée, illustrates the vast range of aggressions directed at women on a daily basis (most of which aren’t even recognised as violence, but as an accepted gender dynamic). Pierre, then, might represent women as a whole, who are every day catcalled, dismissed, and assaulted all over the world. One of the film’s strongest points is its illustration of street harassment, an issue which repeatedly surfaces in today’s discussions of gender violence. To anyone who’s ever experienced any form of harassment in public—and, hopefully, to some who have not—the scenarios painted are all too real. Often, women are told that it’s not such a big deal, and even that it’s to be expected. After all, how debilitating can a single whistle by the roadside be? One catcalling comment on your appearance? A honk as a driver speeds by? These are, unfortunately, seen as unpleasant, but normal, by some people. As one of the women in the film threatens to give chase as Pierre hastens away from a junction where she’s been catcalling him, the fear for one’s own safety caused by ‘expected’ interactions is apparent. It is, to say the least, quite intolerable when one faces aggression and fear as a regular feature of daily life.
What makes Majorité Opprimée so important is the fact that violence is everywhere in popular culture, and everyday social interactions, and in various insidious ways that people who don’t usually experience it have a hard time understanding. The film takes these instances of violence and forces us to re-evaluate our understanding of what we consider ‘normal’ behaviour. Watch it. Make the people around you watch it. Perhaps some the manifold violences written into the scripts of our everyday lives will stop going unnoticed.
“Math class is tough,” said Barbie. Those were the first words this iconic blonde symbol of the femininity declared back in 1992 in a segment titled Barbie Teen Talk. Clearly, gender stereotypes are not a new concept. Obviously, the world’s most famous doll agrees with the age-old cliché of females being intellectually inferior to their male counterparts. How often do we overlook the potential damage these stereotypes do, especially in an educational setting?
In today’s society, gender bias influences each and every individual. As members of this gendered society, we recognize and accept characteristics of femininity and masculinity, moulding our bodies and altering our body images accordingly to fit social expectations.
These gendered attitudes are emphasized in our system of schooling, creating and maintaining gender inequalities, part of which includes society greatly emphasising and controlling the female body. Young girls in Singapore today are at an increasing risk of negative body images and low self- esteem, which may be due to social stereotyping and cultural notions of female bodies that are reinforced within their schools.
Stereotyping girls as intellectually-inferior to their male counterparts damages their notions of self-worth, and instead overemphasizes the importance of female physical attractiveness, instead of personal traits. Hailing from a single-sex secondary school, my schoolmates and I were commonly described as “bimbos” and “girly” by others. The identity of an entire school community was reduced to simplistic, and not-so-flattering, stereotypes of femininity, often despite its evident merit in both academics and sports. In fact, it is common practice in popular culture for schools to be ranked based on the perceived physical attractiveness of their female students. This attitude assumes a woman’s natural state as an object valued for aesthetic appeal. Her potential as a person is undermined by sending the message that women are more valued for their appearance than for their talents. What effects will the subtle, yet large-scale, objectification of female students in schools have on their perception of themselves?
Perhaps what is even more distressing is the school administration’s growing role in imposing unrealistic ideals of the female body. At a recent family gathering, I found out that my seven-year-old cousin has been deemed overweight and forced to join a “Health Club” at school. Apparently, in many primary schools all over the country, it is becoming increasingly common for “overweight” children to be forced to join health clubs, skipping recess and partaking in physical activity as part of an initiative to combat childhood obesity. Essentially, “Health Club”, or more commonly, TAF (Trim and Fit) clubs, are premises to enforce rigid notions of ideal body types, and, perhaps even more dangerously, equate being thin with being ‘healthy’. As a result, adolescents are body-shamed into believing that being “skinny” is the ideal body shape.
In an interview with NBC News, a primary school girl expressed that she felt “sad…to look at people [because they were] so skinny and could wear so many clothes”. At just ten years old, this little girl has already developed a distorted body image and an inferiority complex. Demanding that she forgo food during recess in favour of dribbling a basketball, as in many such clubs in the name of ‘health’, will only worsen the problem. One could argue that these school policies, designed originally with good intentions, are now creating body image problems for future generations. By policing their bodies from a young age, these girls are taught that they must live up to society’s expectations of how they should look and dress. Damagingly, this then results in females themselves learning to measure their value by their appearance.
However, gender stereotypes are harmful to all, even male students. With emphasis on masculinity in the media, more boys are under pressure to live up to society’s notions of what a “real man” is. In a study conducted on participants who had undergone penile enlargement surgery, a majority of the participants had expressed previous reservations about going into shared school showers and engaging in physical activities in school–showing once again that the negative effects of gender expectations start from early on, most often at some point in school. Many participants cited anxiety about their peers’ perception of how ‘macho’, or masculine, they were as a prime reason for undergoing such an intensive surgical procedure. More and more young boys feel increasing pressure to have an idealised male body as popularised in the media, and uphold traditionally ‘masculine’ traits like strength. These attitudes are not helped by others in their peer group reinforcing and perpetuating these pressures on the individual. Gender stereotypes and expectations, if accepted as a normal, run-of-the-mill part of our society, may predict insecurities for the male population as well.
Obviously, society’s strict adherence to gender stereotypes and body ideals can be injurious to both females, as well as males. When education systems emphasize these suffocating constraints of gender inequality, there are potentially dangerous implications for one’s perception of self. Moreover, considering the power school wields over our youth, we, as a community, have to take steps to increase awareness of the harmful gender stereotypes we see in our classrooms, and everywhere else.
There was a video that went viral on Youtube and on the news, of a little girl ranting angrily about how marketing companies were using stereotypical gender norms to market their products to increase sales. Her name is Riley.
Riley: Wouldn’t be fair for all the girls to buy princesses, and all the boys to buy superheroes. Some girls like superheroes, some girls like princesses. Some boys like superheroes, some boys like princesses. Dad: Absolutely. Riley: Well then why does all the girls have to buy pink stuff and all the boys have to buy different colored stuff? Dad: That’s a good question Riley.
There has been an increasing retaliation against gendered toys, and more so, advertisements of them, that use rigidly-defined gender standards and cater to a limited group of society. The most recent controversial advertisement is the new line of Lego Friends, for girls. Instead of taking on active roles as the males do – such as building houses and jet planes – the female roles in the advertisement are limited to passive activities such as waitresses at the café, and taking their pets to the vet. Lego’s division of gender roles promotes the adoption of passive roles by females – being ‘acted upon’ and having things done to them – in contrast to male roles which have the option to engage in imaginative, adventurous activities.
The notion of having a ‘pink aisle’ in most toy stores is alive and healthy.
In general, most toys made specifically for girls do not offer the constructive skills that boys’ toys do. Girls’ toys are made to teach them to be nurturing, taking care of the home and the hearth, and boys toys teach them to be ambitious, aggressive and logical. Of course, toy-manufacturing companies shirk social responsibility, stating that their only aim is to make profit, and well, if their product sells, and if girls like the toys, then what’s the harm in buying them? It’s true, parenting is not in the job description of toy manufacturers, but if huge toy brands are affecting millions of children’s lives every single day, they must feel like they owe some responsibility towards those kids, and the least they can do is refrain from having sexist commercials, or commercials targeted to a specific gender performance.
Speaking of parenting, parents’ choices and views of gender and sexism have a huge part to play in their children’s lives. As toys become more and more gendered, the struggle of kids to break out of their constrictive masculine and feminine molds gets harder and harder. This makes it harder for kids who find out that they have alternate sexual preferences and gender identities, to come out to the rest of the world, especially to their parents. Yes, surprisingly, a majority of parents are reinforcing the pink-aise-blue-aisle norm. They do not want their 4-year-old son playing with dolls instead of cars, out of fear that this might cause their child to be homosexual, or transgender.
“Why not let boys be boys and girls be girls?” is an argument from most. They say that their daughters always ask for Barbie dolls and kitchen sets, and their sons turn dolls into decapitated hand grenades. They say it’s ‘natural’ for girls to be drawn to the pretty pink toys. But what is usually accepted as ‘natural’ by society has been normalised by mass media, by social stigma and often, forced on children by peer pressure. Girls and boys think that specific toys are meant for them, and start to want those toys, through watching chirpy advertisements replayed on TV, and what they are told by their peers, parents, and other authority figures. Preferring certain toys, thus, is part of a wider phenomenon of gender roles being reinforced in every aspect of society. This cultural and media influence affects how children see themselves as persons. If their toys, and the books and films they love, as well as the people around them, tell them that they are limited to certain roles, would they not begin to believe it? What kind of person will they grow up to see themselves as?
A boy should be able to play with a doll or a kitchen set without being judged, and girls should be able to pick up cars without thinking that they’re ‘for boys’ and to play with chemistry sets without thinking they’re ‘too difficult’. Parents can be more open-minded when they choose their kids’ toys, and when they let their kids choose toys. As their children’s first role models, they have the power to affect their children’s thinking more than anything they see on TV or around them.
Parents should encourage kids to express themselves freely and without fear. In kindergarten, teachers can bring productive, mind-bending toys that improve children’s cognitive skills, like Playdoh, blocks, puzzles and art sets. The variety of these gender-neutral toys, should be increased, and their use promoted, so that kids don’t feel like they can’t go anywhere other than merely that one aisle that represents their gender performance. This could affect a plethora of generations – their expressive and personal choices, their careers, and their ambitions.
The Let Toys Be Toys campaign focuses on allowing children to play with the toys that most interest them.
So far, Goldiblox has started a courageous and path-breaking movement to increase the educational value of girls’ toys, and has increased the gender-neutral corner of the toy market. The Let Toys Be Toys campaign, which demands that toys be sorted by genre rather than by gender, has made the society more aware of the banes of gendered toys. However, if kids all over the world want to see a change, there is still a long way to go. Parents can make a difference, by talking to their kids about these issues. Schools should promote discussions about sexism and gender, starting with little kids. Kids need to be told that it’s okay to be who they want to be. As a wise little girl once said, ‘Some girls like superheroes, some boys like princesses.’ The message can’t get plainer than that.
We all know how the media can shape people’s ideas and perceptions. But I never really cared—perhaps, I was jaded by the avalanche of media that bombards us nowadays.
I first came across the term ‘victim-blaming’ while first working for the We Can! campaign. It refers to how victims, especially those of sexual assault, are held responsible for others’ attacks on them. Society often adopts such attitudes towards rape and sexual assault in particular, and many assume that being assaulted is, in some part, the fault of the victim.
To me, intuitively, the thought of victim-blaming was simply absurd. It is like kicking someone when they’re down, and only serves to exacerbate the pain the victim must feel. I did not expect to find such an attitude in my own country.
How wrong I was. Victim-blaming doesn’t simply just exist in Singapore; it is rampant in our daily lives, creates a toxic mentality that condones crime and manufactures an atmosphere of fear.
Check out the infamous poster from the police that pushes the responsibility of not being attacked, assaulted or targeted, to the victim.
I feel that this line of advertising is extremely problematic. In the first poster, the rapist is shrouded in shadow and his face cannot be seen clearly. In contrast, the victim is placed in the spotlight. The focus is clearly shifted from the perpetrator to the victim. It is as if the victim is the only one we are asked to focus on, in a crime that they have no control over.
This isn’t an isolated incident on the Internet. The Singapore Police Force is a well-respected public institution, which arguably holds significant authority and sway over public opinion, yet it is endorsing the message that “it’s your responsibility” to avoid being attacked.
Such advertising disempowers individuals, making people fearful of their own safety, as well as feel that they are in some way, at fault for having been assaulted. Worse still, this sends the message to potential sex criminals that their behaviour is acceptable.
More worryingly, such advertising is indicative of a wider culture of victim-blaming that exists in Singapore. Often, families with conservative values would keep hush sexual crimes that happen to family members, for fear of the loss of ‘face’ that entails. Police officers have claimed that rape cannot happen unless a girl ‘opens her legs’. In the end, the victim is unable to gain support from figures that are supposed to be in positions of trust and power to them.
This is not a problem that Singapore alone faces. In 2012, the reputed US news agency CNN reported the infamous Steubenville rape case from a sympathetic stance toward the rapists involved. CNN anchor Candy Crowley claimed it was ‘incredibly difficult’ to hear the guilty verdict as the two culprits who had ‘such promising futures, star football players, literally watched as their lives fell apart’. What they failed to mention, however, was the hurt and damage caused by such a heinous crime. By focusing bizarrely on the culprit, CNN sorely detracted from the gravity of the crime and the plight of the victim.
But we also may look overseas to find a better model in tackling rape and other crimes. In contrast to our local ‘Don’t Get Rubbed the Wrong Way’ posters, campaigns overseas such as the Canadian ‘Don’t Be That Guy’ message place the focus squarely on the perpetrator, warning people to not be the culprit. By doing so, they send out the clear message that rape is never acceptable in any circumstance, and forces people to take responsibility for their actions. In contrast to local advertisements, this is empowering.
More importantly, however, each of us needs to question how we ourselves have witnessed victim-blaming and whether we have consciously or unconsciously been guilty of condoning such attitudes. We need to make a commitment to being conscious of our own attitudes and speak out if a friend or family member expresses a sentiment that may be damaging or incorrect.
By taking the Change Maker pledge, you joined 3.9 million people around the world who are speaking up against violence in their societies.
In 2013, We Can! Singapore launched, reaching out to the Singapore community through theatre, workshops, art, media and more. With your help, we raised awareness and inspired action to reduce social tolerance of all forms of violence against women.
This year, we want to deepen that change and invite you to be part of that process.
We have big plans and exciting ideas for 2014! We want to grow the Change Maker community, mobilise youth to lead the campaign and inspire change at all levels. To do this better, we want to hear from you.
Come down on 5 April and amidst food, drinks and new friendships, share with us your ideas, experiences and hopes for change. Change Makers from different walks of life will be speaking about their stories of personal change and their experiences with community outreach. If you would like to share your story, write to us at [email protected].
We will also be honouring the Change Makers who have done exceptional work in 2013, so do come and support them!
We Can! is a community-led movement – it is your movement. You can have a say in the direction and impact the campaign creates this year. So come – lend us your voice, hands and feet.
Programme:
3-3.15pm – Registration
3.15-3.25 – Introduction
3.25-3.40pm – Icebreaker
3.40-4.10pm – Making waves in the community (discussion)
4.10-4.25pm – Outreach through social media
4.25-4.35pm – Opportunities for volunteering and activism
4.35-4.50pm – Presentation of Star Change Maker Awards
Much has been said about the Health Promotion Board’s decision to release an FAQ (frequently asked questions) about homosexuality, which was aimed at providing information for parents with homosexual children and address the issue of discrimination based on sexual orientation.
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community in Singapore commended HPB’s move, labeling it an important first step towards helping homosexuals struggling with their sexual identity. Others, generally self-proclaimed ‘conservatives’, led by Pastor Lawrence Khong of Faith Community Baptist Church, were not so supportive. They claimed that the tone adopted by HPB was supportive of homosexuality in general and how it fundamentally damaged the moral fabric of society.
It is good to have such discourse and a wide spectrum of views. It shows that we are maturing as a society. However, the crux of the issue is for us to recognise that the LGBT community and in particular, homosexual youths, are not being accepted in our local communities. They are often discriminated in society and bear the brunt of much homophobia-fuelled violence.
Violence against homosexual youth is a result of the lack of sufficient education, information and inclusivity. From a young age, traditional norms of gender and sexuality are perpetuated via conservative sexuality education programmes in schools. Homosexuality is sneered at as an illegitimate lifestyle choice and a socially taboo topic. This creates an atmosphere of fear and judgment in schools, where homosexuals are afraid of being themselves. The failure of the education system to develop a culture of acceptance is reflected in the horrific gay bashing endured by Theo Chen, a 12-year-old student in SJI International Elementary School.
Worse still, families with deeply entrenched conservative values regard having homosexual children as a source of shame. It is commonplace to find openly homosexual children cut off from families who have rejected them based on their sexual orientation. Consider the case of Sham, who has been recently featured on the facebook page, ‘The People of Singapore’. A lesbian, she was forced to leave home at the age of 16. Her girlfriend has also been shunned by her family, who told Sham she should be gang raped to ‘fix her’. The experiences of Sham are very much indicative of a wider culture of intolerance and violence towards the LGBT community.
As a result, homosexual youths find it difficult to come to grips with their sexuality, and start to distrust themselves and their experiences. Bereft of support from friends, family and the government, they are often alienated and bear the brunt of violence from people influenced by homophobic rhetoric. Is it any wonder, then, that the Suicide Prevention Resource Centre estimates that between 30 to 40% of LGBT youth have attempted to take their own life?
By persisting with the status quo, we are refusing to acknowledge the discrimination and persecution that homosexual youths have to endure on a daily basis. Homophobia will continue to flourish and violence against homosexual youths will continue to be an everyday reality.
We need to tackle the root of the problem- the lack of education about homosexuality that prevents a culture of inclusivity from taking root. More than that, we need to ensure that families become more accepting towards homosexual youths, so that at the very they can cling onto their family members for support and guidance.
That is why HPB’s move to publish the FAQs about homosexuality is an important first step towards ending discrimination against homosexual youths. By developing and strengthening the support systems of homosexual youths, we are sending out a clear message that they are deeply treasured and respected members of an inclusive and accepting society. More than that, we are telling society- the lawmakers, the workers and the average joe on the street- that violence against homosexual youths can never be tolerated.
However, more needs to be done. More can be done. We have the ability, as a society, to come together to reject homophobia and violence against homosexual youths. If you are a young person in a school, be a friend to those who could be struggling with their sexual orientation. More importantly, do not tolerate any homophobic sentiment amongst your peers.
“The time time for justice, the time for freedom, the time for equality is always, is always right now!” – The Great Debaters
I am willing to play my part in stopping violence against LGBT youths. Are you?
“The youth of today and the youth of tomorrow will be accorded an almost unequal opportunity for great accomplishment and human service.” – Dr Nicholas Murray
It is often tempting as a young person to discount our power to make change. We tend to ignore daunting social problems, believing that we do not have the ability to do anything about it. “Anyway,” we think, “adults can do it better.”
Wrong. Youth have tremendous potential and more importantly, the unique opportunity to make a significant difference in forwarding social causes. In the days of our youth is when many of our beliefs and worldviews are solidified. If we take the effort to question and rethink the social norms and practices around us, especially where they are problematic, we will be able to make a significant breakthrough in advancing social progress. This is because, through a critical enquiry of the traditions and cultural attitudes we grow up in, we discover new ways of being and doing things that can be better for social living.
This is particularly true in the case of violence against women. Over the years, violence against women in societies around the world hasn’t reduced – in fact, it has increased. Violence against women isn’t about a random nutter of a husband abusing his wife. It’s about outmoded concepts of masculinity. It’s about the normalisation of men using violence against women to retain and reproduce power. It’s about the silence from friends and family members who ensure that such violence goes unreported, and, therefore, excused. It is, fundamentally, about the social tolerance of women’s suffering.
We can do better than that. Every generation has the power to shape its own beliefs. We can do this by interrogating the past and reimagining the future. To start with, we need to examine existing social norms that allow violence against women to occur and go unreported.
One idea that really needs to be reconsidered is the prevailing notion of masculinity. Through redefining masculinity, we can change the attitude of men towards women and towards each other. We must know, and let other men know, that to be masculine is not to be violent and dominant over women or other men.
Social progress is often only made when people come together to take a stand. Think of Martin Luther King’s civil rights movement and of Gandhi’s civil disobedience against the British monopoly of the salt trade. Youth in Singapore and across the world making a commitment not to tolerate violence against women would send out a powerful message to everyone. It would tell people that society is moving forward and that we, this generation, will not excuse violence, will not accept inequality and oppression.
It is not going to be easy. Familial constructs across the world designate men as the head of the household, allowing for men to be considered as superior and more powerful. On the flip side, the same familial constructs prescribe that women should be submissive, subordinate, sacrificial and silent in the face of violence because it is their responsibility to keep the family together at all costs. As a result, women find it difficult to report violence, for fear of stigma and societal condemnation.
The youth can play a significant role in reshaping gender relations, starting with our own attitudes and the relationships in our lives. We can also act as change makers on the ground by interrupting a friend who makes a sexist joke or gently pointing out to a couple that their relationship is unequal. Most importantly, for young men, we can collectively redefine our view of masculinity as one that does not condone violence against women.
These actions may be small individually, but if everyone makes an effort, we can make real progress towards ending violence against women.
This December, We Can! Singapore is breaking the silence of violence with the We Can! Arts Fest.
Violence isn’t always black and blue. Most times, it creeps into women’s lives unexpectedly – at home, at the workplace, on the street, at a party. It leaves an impact on women, men and children.
Do you know how to spot the signs?
Walk through our interactive installation on psychological abuse, stop to have coffee with a social activist, watch a play on true stories of violence from Singapore, and discover how you can make a difference.
On 8 December 2013, meet others who are using their voices to speak up against violence. Together, we can create awareness and action for a violence-free society.
Artists, activists and survivors are coming together in an exciting lineup to interrogate the different forms of violence around us that go unnoticed because of our silence.
Event details:
Theme: The Silence of Violence
Date: 8 December 2013
Time: 11am – 10pm
Venue: Aliwal Arts Centre, 28 Aliwal Street
Art + film + music + plays + poetry + workshops + more!
